This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I have post one night stand depression
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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