But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Randomize
