Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
