some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
