I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
