Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
