She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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