dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
