Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
