Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
