Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
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Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize