the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Congratulations! We have a period
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
