I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
