at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
