I bet he comes in French.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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