wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize