i always forget guys have bellybuttons
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
