I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
her vagine was all disorganized.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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