I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
