So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
