Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Green mimosas i think yes
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
