Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
