I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
someone owes me an orgasm
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
