Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
