If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
