we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
