I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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