I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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