are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
