umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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