false alarm. still invincible.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
