I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
