If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
