we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
