the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
