Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
