I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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