I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I see more hoeing in ur future
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
