Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
