3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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