apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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