can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
