Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
When are your genitals available?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
