I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
