My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
