I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
