He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
