you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
