He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
