Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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