I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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