I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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