I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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