Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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