people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
