seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
