Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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