you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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