you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
