How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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