ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
