I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize