What a fucking waste of an outfit
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
