I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
