are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
