Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
