Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
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