WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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