There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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