Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
