She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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