I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
