weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Send help, water and tortillas.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
